November 30

November 30, 1872 - England and Scotland played the first official international soccer game, which ended in a 0-0 tie. It would take decades, and dozens more international soccer games, before anyone managed to score the first official goal in an international soccer game.

November 29

November 29, 1830 - An armed rebellion against Russian rule in Poland began. Of course, this was considered a normal day in 19th century Poland, the abnormal days were the ones that lacked the beginning of an armed rebellion against Russian rule.

November 28

November 28, 1895 - Frank Duryea won the very first automobile race in the United States, finishing a 54 mile race from Chicago to Evanston, Illinois in just under 8 hours. Duryea’s car broke down halfway through the race, forcing him to finish the race on foot, which gave him the speed boost necessary to pull away from the field.

November 27

November 27, 1839 - The American Statistical Association was founded. The association was created by statisticians to dispel the belief held by over 60% of the population that 98% of all statistics were made up.

November 26

November 26, 1939 - The Soviet Union’s Red Army shelled the Russian village of Mainila, then blamed the incident on the Finnish Army, giving the Soviets an excuse to declare war on Finland. The Soviets were not intentionally trying to frame the Finns, they just had finished their daily vodka rations and accidentally pointed their guns the wrong direction.

November 25

November 25, 1876 - US Army troops sacked the camp of a Cheyenne war party under Chief Dull Knife, in retaliation for the American defeat at the Battle of Little Big Horn. The American troops were lucky to have stumbled across Chief Dull Knife’s camp - had they been only a few miles further north, they would have come across the much better defended camp commanded by Dull Knife’s brother, Chief Sharp and Extremely Pointy Knife.

November 24

November 24, 1806 - William Webb Ellis, allegedly the creator of rugby and the namesake of the trophy presented to the champions of the Rugby World Cup, was born. Upon being born, Ellis promptly stood up on his own, sprinted across the delivery room, tackled the doctor, ran to the nearest bar, and chugged a Guinness.

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 23

November 23, 534 BC - Thespis of Icaria became the first person recorded to have appeared on stage as an actor, portraying another character instead of speaking as himself. Thespis, 25 centuries after his acting prime, is still within 6 degrees of separation of Kevin Bacon.

November 22

November 22, 1858 - The city of Denver, Colorado, was founded. Archaeologists and historians studying the parts of the city that were settled first have discovered the original charter to the city, the personal papers of Governor James W. Denver, and shockingly, pieces of a 150 year old billboard that appeared to read "We want Tebow."

November 21

November 21, 1942 - The Alaska Highway was dedicated, connecting Alaska to the mainland United States through Canada. The highway actually made travelling more difficult for most Alaskans, as their primary means of transport, dogsleds and polar bears, performed far worse on paved highways than on unpaved snow and ice trails.

November 20

November 20, 1985 - Microsoft released Windows version 1.0, the very first version of Windows launched. Computers running 1.0 today are still touted as being easier to use and more reliable than computers running Windows ME or Windows Vista.

November 19

November 19, 2001 - The World Toilet Organization (seriously... it exists... look it up) designated November 19 as the annual World Toilet Day. The holiday is widely considered to be, literally and figuratively, the shittiest holiday ever created.

November 18

November 18, 1993 - Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, was arrested for public drunkenness. After imbibing a quick, Even Flow of assorted liquors, Vedder was so hammered he was convinced his name was Jeremy, his memories were nothing but a Black out, and witnesses were amazed he was even Alive.

November 17

November 17, 1962 - United States President John F. Kennedy dedicated the Dulles International Airport, serving the Washington, D.C. region. The Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) began a metro extension to the new airport later in 1962, and as of 2011, the proposed Silver Line extension is now 47 years behind schedule and $86 billion over budget.

November 16

November 16, 1806 - Moses Cleaveland, namesake of Cleveland, Ohio, died. Cleaveland had braved many battles with Native Americans, survived encounters with wild animals, and weathered the worst of natural disasters, and in the end could only be killed by making contact with the most lethal substance known on Earth... the Cuyahoga River.

November 15

November 15, 1969 - The American submarine USS Gato collided with the Soviet submarine K-19 in the Barents Sea. While the collision itself was minor, the aftermath was nearly apocalyptic, with a discussion regarding insurance information nearly spiraling into nuclear war in the first documented case of undersea road rage.

November 14

November 14, 1991 - The music video for the Michael Jackson hit "Black or White" debuted on national TV. The song was notable in that it was the first song the King of Pop wrote about the ambiguity of his own skin color.

November 13

November 13, 1851 - The Denny Party settled at Alki Point on Puget Sound in Washington, founding the settlement that would become Seattle. The party chose to stay at Alki Point due to the fertile soil, the beautiful scenery, and the surprising presence of a Starbucks on every street corner.

November 12

November 12, 1793 - French revolutionaries executed Jean Sylvain Bailly, a former revolutionary leader and the first Mayor of Paris. The execution proved the theory widely held in the international community that the only people the French were capable of defeating were other French.

November 11

November 11, 1750 - The FHC Society, also known as the Flat Hat Club, was founded at Raleigh's Tavern by students at the College of William & Mary, and became the first college fraternity. The same night, Raleigh's Tavern saw the world's first popped collar, first beer pong tournament, and first documented usage of the word "bro."

November 10

November 10, 1847 - The passenger ship Stephen Whitney was wrecked off the coast of southern Ireland. Investigators found a full, unopened bottle of whiskey in the captain's cabin, and blame for the wreck then fell to the captain, who by not drinking any of his whiskey was well below the minimum drunkenness level mandated by Irish law to be a ship's captain.

November 9

November 9, 1904 - Wilbur Wright flew the Wright Flyer II on the first airplane flight over five minutes. When Wilbur bragged to his brother, Orville, about finally lasting longer than five minutes, Orville casually responded, "that's what she said," and the two brothers never spoke again.

November 8

November 8, 1950 - United States Air Force Lieutenant Russell Brown shot down two North Korean MiG-15s in his F-80 Shooting Star, in the first dogfight ever between jet powered aircraft. Brown celebrated his victory by driving around on his motorcycle, playing shirtless beach volleyball, and exchanging homoerotic glances with his wingman, all while blasting Kenny Loggins at full volume.

November 7

November 7, 1983 - A bomb exploded in the United States Capitol, injuring nobody but causing $250,000 in damage. The damage has still not been fixed to this day because Congressional leaders have been debating for 28 years where to find that $250,000 in the budget and have not been able to reach a compromise.

November 6

November 6, 1861 - Jefferson Davis was elected President of the Confederate States of America. Davis was far and away the best candidate as he was widely known, he had extensive political experience, and his simple last name was easy for Confederate voters to spell.

November 5

November 5, 1872 - In a major move in the American women's suffrage movement, Susan B. Anthony voted for the first time, and for the action was fined $100. Anthony protested the fine by paying it with 100 awkwardly shaped dollar coins.

November 4

November 4, 2008 - Bestselling author Michael Crichton died. His death came unexpectedly when, while studying infectious diseases in a mysterious sphere inhabited by intelligent supergorillas at the bottom of the ocean, he was killed by a velociraptor.

November 3

November 3, 1957 - The Soviet Union launched Sputnik 2 carrying Laika the dog, the first animal to enter orbit and one of many Soviet space dogs to die in space. Soviet scientists were so distraught at their responsibility for Laika's death that they discontinued the practice of sending animals into space as test subjects and began sending up political dissenters, who were deemed significantly more expendable and less adorable than space dogs.

November 2

November 2, 1898 - Organized cheerleading was created when University of Minnesota student Johnny Campbell led the crowd in cheering at a home football game. Campbell later caused an uproar when he introduced his squad of female cheerleaders, who scandalously cheered on the team while scantily clad in heavy knit sweaters and ankle-revealing skirts.

November 1

November 1, 1922 - The Ottoman Sultanate was abolished, signalling the end of the centuries old Ottoman Empire. While the empire had been a major player in international politics for over 600 years, in the end, an empire based entirely on footrests (no matter how comfortable) could not survive the modernization of the 20th century.