January 13

January 13, 888 - Holy Roman Emperor Charles III (Charles the Fat) died. Ironically, he died (like most people in 9th century Europe) of starvation.

January 12

January 12, 1998 - Nineteen European nations voted to forbid human cloning. However, suspicions arose when the 19 leaders of the 19 nations managed to unanimously vote on the measure by a final tally of 27 - 0.

January 11

January 11, 1759 - The first American life insurance company was incorporated in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Among the first people to sign up was Santa Claus, who knew that Philadelphia was the one place even his life was in jeopardy.

January 10

January 10, 1949 - Boxer George Foreman was born. Foreman was the youngest of four brothers, born after George Foreman -2nd, George Foreman -3rd, and George Foreman -4th.

January 9

January 9, 1998 - The decapitated head of the statue of the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen, Denmark, was returned. The head thieves were never found, but the prime suspect has always been Bart Simpson, who the experts believe stole the head in an effort to look cool.

Jaunary 8

January 8, 1940 - Great Britain was forced to introduce food rationing as a response to supply shortages during the Second World War. British citizens were ecstatic, as it limited the amount of horrible traditional English cooking they were able to eat.

January 7

January 7, 1862 - Confederate soldiers under general Stonewall Jackson withdrew from their position on Orrick's Hill, Maryland, and set out for Romney, West Virginia, as part of the Romney Campaign of the American Civil War. To this day, this remains the most successful Romney campaign ever.

Jaunary 6

January 6, 1839 - The most damaging storm in over 300 years swept through Ireland, destroying over 20% of the houses in Dublin. It later turned out that the brunt of the damage was not actually from the storm itself, but was caused by drunken Irishmen rioting when the storm prevented their favorite bars from opening.

January 5

January 5, 1914 - The Ford Motor Company instituted an 8 hour work day and a 5$/day minimum wage. This was a major victory in the workers’ rights movement, and the move was celebrated by all of the eight-year-old child laborers who were employed by the Ford Motor Company.

January 4

January 4, 1951 - Chinese and North Korean forces captured Seoul during the Korean War. All over the world, people were upset, especially the South Koreans and their American and UN allies, but nobody was more upset than American singer James Brown, the Godfather of Seoul.

January 3

January 3, 1496 - Leonardo da Vinci unsuccessfully tested a flying machine. Or, as da Vinci would later brag to his friends, he very successfully (and very luckily) tested a landing machine.

January 2

January 2, 1974 - President Richard Nixon signed a law lowering the maximum speed limit in the United States to 55 mph, in order to reduce oil consumption during the OPEC embargo. A significant percentage of the oil saved went towards enabling President Nixon to maintain his signature greasy hair.